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Hey everyones! Welcome to another part for our series ASK RH!
Today we have Jason, a 20 year old college student who is lost with life looking for direction.
(Joe’s responses in bold)
I was watching one of your vlogs and you mentioned refugeehustle.com somewhere. I was looking through the website and thought to myself, “Holy shit, Joe is giving free advice on life… YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.”
So here I am. I wanted to tell you that I really admire how knowledgeable you are about such a wide range of subjects and just how well-rounded you are in general. Anyway, I’ve got a couple questions for you man.
1. Do you have any advice for a 20 year old community college student who recently went through an existential crisis and has absolutely no idea where he’s headed in life?
Plenty, I remember being 20 and lost. I switched like 5 majors before settling on Psychology. Your major doesn’t matter though, MAJORITY of people I know don’t work in the field they majored in. So my advice, find what you enjoy and study it, don’t make the same mistake most of my friends do and study something cause it pays good. Trust me, if you make decisions based off fear and wanting a false sense of security, you will live a really depressing life. YOU CAN MAKE MONEY DOING ANYTHING!!! So don’t go for money and availability of jobs… Go for what you’re genuinely interested in because if you’re interested, you’ll work hard, which means you’ll get good, and if you’re good, you’ll be worth value and someone will be more than happy to pay you cause they need you.
2. I read somewhere that you majored in psychology while in college? What encouraged you to major in that field?
I was just like you, looking for jobs that pay good, job security and seem like a for sure thing. I was taking pre-req for nursing when I fell upon psychology. The classes were fun as hell, I thought to myself hold up, I don’t care if this makes me money, I love going to class and learning about this. Fuck nursing, I volunteered at the hospital and I could deal with blood but the smell of shit and piss destroys me. I really look up to all the other volunteers who were genuinely passionate about nursing, I felt like a fraud, I was there for the money. I needed to be honest with myself and my true talents were with studying people.
Here’s another thing that’s been on my mind lately. I’m actually interested in majoring in Psychology too, but a lot of people tell me it’s really tough to find a job or that there’s little career prospect unless I have a Master’s degree or higher in that field.
Very true, its tough, but to achieve greatness in anything it will be tough. If you want an easy or normal life, you’re going to get easy or normal pay, which is low to mediocre. If you expect things to be easy you really get what you put in life, I know you’re only trying to find the best options but before I answer if you should or shouldn’t major in Psychology, You must first ask yourself, how bad do you want to be a psychologist?
When you really want something, it shouldn’t matter how hard the task is because you’ll enjoy the challenge.
And these people who are telling you these things, are they Psychiatrists? Psychologists? Therapists? Psychology majors? A lot of people have a lot to say about all sorts of things but make sure they have the credibility. I mean you wouldn’t take financial advice from a guy drowning in credit card debt right? Make sure they know their shit before you believe them.
There are no guarantees in life, and I know what you’re doing is trying to eliminate risk, making sure you don’t dedicate too much time into something that is impossible. I get it…
My advice to you is to find what you’re good at and do exactly that. Don’t worry about the money, security and all that. Everything will follow through, money is a result of your effort, not the goal. Almost every single one of my friends who pursued a masters or higher because they wanted something secure ended up dropping it and doing something different. If you’re not 100% sure of it, don’t go for it. Don’t waste the space for people who want to major in that field and are genuinely passionate about it. Don’t lie to yourself, do exactly what you want and go for broke. All or nothing!
I’m not sure I can afford to be in school for that long and I’m not sure I can even afford all those classes. I’m an only child and my Mom is a single parent; it’s just the two of us in the house hold, so I need a decent-paying job ASAP. I’m not sure what to do now. I can’t afford to be indecisive and switch majors in the middle of the semester. I was thinking about just doing my General Ed and hopefully eventually figure out which subject I have a knack for. But what if that doesn’t happen? What if after doing all my G.E’s, I’m still clueless about my career path? My backup plan is to go to trade school for an electrician or something, if college doesn’t work out. Do you use your degree at all nowadays? Or is it just hanging there on your bedroom wall?
Wow! Hold up dude… You just went off on a huge shitstorm of worries. Which all are legitimate but heres the thing, over analysis is paralysis. All decisions have consequences and sacrifices, theres not some easy answer. We cannot control the random things that happen in life, my advice to you is to learn flexibility.
Ima be mad Asian right now and give you this quote.
“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” – Bruce Lee
Be like the bamboo and flex into anything that comes at you. The more you try to plan, control and force life, the more unnecessary stress you’ll put upon yourself.
Now I’m not saying be reckless and live life with no direction.
Im saying, It’s great to have a game plan BUT if anything happens not according to plan, accept it and adjust.
In the 7 years I’ve been doing Youtube, Things have changed a lot! If I didn’t keep up with the flow of whats currently happening, I would’ve been like the other channels that died off and long forgotten.
I am not going to give you any guarantees or tell you how to live life. I can only help you become a confident decision maker.
First, I want you to go back to this paragraph and for every worry, I want you to write a solution. For example.
1. I’m not sure I can afford to be in school for that long and I’m not sure I can even afford all those classes. (A: I will first calculate how much I need for school. I will then find ways to get grants, loans, ways to pay for college, I will be sure because I will do my research)
2. What if after doing all my G.E’s, I’m still clueless about my career path?
(A: This year I will experience and explore as many things I am interested in to see what I am truly interested in, If I’m not for sure then, I will still search, if there is a rush to choose, then I better put forth a more aggressive method in my search)
We gotta take this first step before you know for sure. This is life dude, a lot of people all the way up into adults can’t make decisions and are afraid to do the wrong thing. The thing is, You are afraid of making decisions. It’s okay, lots of people are. Im sure there are a lot of people watching/reading right now agreeing with you. Ima tell y’all to do something thats a little scary but really when you do it, its not.
Life is fun to explore. No ones telling you to make a life altering decision now but unless we start NOW we won’t be able to ever figure things out.
One more thing. A lot of people aren’t able to find what they’re passionate about in life until later on in their lives (e.g. when they’re in their 40’s, 50’s, etc). If part of my existential crisis is figuring out what I want to do with my life occupationally, should I just settle for something that pays a decent amount of money and something I can tolerate? Cause I figured, it’ll be the people in my life that matter more than anything anyway, not a job. I feel like it’s people, love, friendships, relationships that are responsible for the bulk of our happiness anyway.
Not everyone values the same things. Not everyone needs purpose in their occupation but I guarantee you that if you do have purpose in what you’re doing, life will be much more fulfilling.
Passion doesn’t come to you, you develop it. We don’t wake up one day saying “Oh shit I found my passion!!!”
Skill is something we develop over time, all of us have a ton of passions. We just fail to recognize them as legitimate because of fear of judgement and fear of failure.
For example: A lot of us are passionate about video games but only a few of us make it a career.
What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? Now don’t worry about a career or how many years it will take, Right now, be honest with yourself and write down 5 things you enjoy doing. All of these are your passion. All of these can make money. There are people who make a living in every one of these 5 things. Now do you want to be apart of that small % that do this? Or are you going to be like everyone else and complain about how hard, how risky and what small chances you have?
This blog isn’t for people who want just a normal, mediocre life. This blog is about the refugee who said BITCH THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING BETTER THAN THIS SHIT! I AM TIRED OF DODGING BULLETS! I AM SWIMMING TO AMERICA!
You only have this 1 chance at life, do you want to look back and say… “Damnit I know I could’ve challenged myself but I wanted to take the easy, normal, safe way.”
I think what you really want is “Damn, I really pushed beyond what I thought I could ever possibly achieve and I can now die happy knowing that I left contributing something to this world”
Or else why would you be here reaching out to make a difference in your life?
Good luck on your journey!