My environment was stressing me out.
The empty Amazon Prime boxes on the floor were a constant reminder how badly I needed to clean my room.
Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to clean my room for months BUT this stopped me…
“I don’t have time to clean my room. I have SO MUCH to do today. I’ll do it later.”
Most of the time, we already know what we should be doing. But what happens instead? We do nothing, feel guilty, and start creating negative thoughts about ourselves.
I’m lazy. I’m weak. Why can’t I get my life under control?
We say tomorrow… but tomorrow never happens
Instead of cleaning my room, I would drive 30 minutes to a K-town coffee shop to write articles. No matter how far I drove, I couldn’t escape the inevitable guilt trip coming home. When I felt guilty enough, I would do a huge cleaning day… telling myself that this was the last time I was going to clean my room.
…but it was never the last time
Within one month, my room was back to it’s natural chaotic state again, leaving me disappointed, guilty and defeated. When friends came over, I would quickly close my door hoping that people wouldn’t see my room.
My problem was out of control. Fuck.
Willpower wasn’t working
Looking at my clutter reminded me of my unmade decisions. Everything was everywhere. Nothing had a home… a place.
So I bought a desk, bookcase, lamp, and a little bamboo plant. Magically my Amazon Prime boxes made it to recycling bin. My books found their way to the bookshelf. I was finally taking control of my life again.
But knowing myself, I needed to make a bigger commitment or things would go back to normal.
Something had to change
Over the last 9 years, I spent months agonizing, guilt tripping, and beating myself up over my problem. Guilt tripping didn’t work. Not only was my room was still messy, I felt like shit. If I didn’t change, the negative thoughts would get only worse. Everything start with our thoughts. Habitually dwelling on negative thoughts sets us up for depression, anxiety, and failure.
I didn’t want this life.
That’s when I bought the DX Racer gaming chair.
I know. Spending $400 for a chair sounds ridiculous… but I tried my best to financially justify it.
- “Oh you’ll use it for v-logs”
- “It’ll be great for your back”
- “It’s a GREAT fapping chair”
But let’s be honest. All those things could be done with a $70 Amazon chair.
That’s when I realized…
The $400 wasn’t only going toward the chair… it was a commitment and investment into a lifestyle change. I was taking control of my life. I wasn’t fucking around anymore.
Change doesn’t happen passively. Changes can be uncomfortable, but that’s how we grow. So go for broke. Take the leap of faith. It takes courage to let ourselves be vulnerable and fail. But you know what? This is the start for creating and living the life we actually want.
You have nothing to lose… and it all starts with making the first step.
Here’s your challenge…
The balls deep challenge
1. Write down at least ONE thing that you “should be” doing.
2. What are the roadblocks stopping you from taking action?
3. Write a positive solution for each roadblock.
4. Write down ONE big step that you can take today.
5. Go balls deep. Take the leap of faith.
What is your ONE big step that you can take today? Post it in the comment section.
Even though your big step could be buying a new camera to start that YouTube channel you always wanted, it doesn’t have to be buying an expensive item. Maybe it’s posting workout results on Instagram. Either way how are you going commit and invest into your environment?
PS… the DX racer gaming chair is a GREAT fapping chair.
LMFAO! This post was so unexpected and it was a great read! This past year, I gradually spent on upgrading my workstation from a small “college corner desk” with an outdated laptop into a bigger L-shaped workstation (kinda like the one in the pic but I got wood…pfft) with custom-built gaming PC with dual monitors and all essential “gaming peripherals”. However, I never considered into that gaming chair because I thought my current office chair would suffice but it’s getting pretty beaten up. Up until now, I’ve had the longest debate with myself whether or not I should, but to keep this short, you helped me make my decision! Thanks, Kevin!
One step I can take today. Study. There are time when my stuff is laid out in pile of stuff I am supposed to do. I stare at it for a while, maybe shuffle things around. Then guilt trip.
you’re right on point ! although I don’t have my own place , I barely made it through this semester of college almost my worst semester so far, but would the leap of faith be me buying a gaming laptop or something? any tips ? the post was great !
I’m always late on everything …
This is a super late response and I hope you’ve found something to cure your procrastination. Personally, one of the best things I’ve purchased for college was a planner, not some $1 one a Moleskin or one from Muji because it allowed me to time block my time AND since it was so expensive I was more inclined to use it and lug it around with me.
I actually have a Moleskin and used to write with some Mont Blanc pen refills (not about that baller pen life).
But yes I agree with you. People don’t value things, they don’t pay for and it’s a great way to help with procrastination.