How many of you had an opportunity where you were scared shitless and automatically said no?
Recently I was offered pharmacy manager.
I’ve been a pharmacist for 2 years and declined manager position 4 times. Why? I saw managers drowning in paperwork, working on action plans to improve “the numbers”, and PRAYING that the Board of Pharmacy wouldn’t come knocking at the door.
And here I was… getting asked a fifth time. And for some reason, I decided to think about it a little more
… and I came to this realization.
I have a fear of making the “wrong” decisions in my life.
One of the reasons why pharmacy school felt like the “right” choice was because of the money and stability. I always knew money wasn’t everything, but at the same time money provided opportunities.
Imagine not having enough money to pay for your mom’s cancer chemotherapy or being too broke to pay for your child’s tuition after they were accepted to Harvard? How disappointed would you feel? The fear of becoming pharmacy manager, losing that money and stability, and not being able to provide felt very real to me.
We’re human. I’m not perfect. What would happen if I failed to notice something that I was responsible for? The Board of Pharmacy could fine me up the ass or even worse… take away my pharmacy license that that costed 180k and 7 years in school. I would literally have to suck dick on the street to make ends meet. Not about that life.
But what was this fear really costing me?
In reality, I was looking at this the wrong way.
There are a lot of responsibilities with any management role, but this was a great opportunity to refine my leadership skills. As a staff pharmacist, I just wasn’t growing. I forgot what it was like being thrown into the spiral of doom and how much I could learn through that struggle. Whether it’s entrepreneurship, pharmacy, or anything in life, you have to be vulnerable and fail to be great. Accepting this opportunity was a great way to routinely test my fears.
What if the worst case scenario ACTUALLY happens?
We typically obsess on WORST case scenarios and forget about the benefits of taking risk. That fear of failure paralyzes us from growth. We forget how much we grow from the grind. In fact, most worse case scenarios never happen… and if it does happen, we forget that we can recover from it. We can adapt to the unexpected.
Can’t make a decision about an opportunity? Use this simple solution.
Relax and ask yourself 2 things.
1. Will I grow from this?
2. Am I scared?
Did you answer yes? Take it. Seize that opportunity by the BALLS.
As long as you can grow from the opportunity, you can’t lose. Some choices are more painful than others, but living in fear and staying stagnant is no way to live. Life always involves involves some risk. How can you improve yourself if you’re always doing the same things?
Finally I want to ask you something.
Maybe it’s leaving your 9-5 job. Maybe it’s starting a YouTube channel. Maybe it’s pursuing a new career. What is one opportunity that scares the fuck out of you? Write it down below in the comment section.
PS I’m writing this article to you as a pharmacy manager… BOSS.
Writing for RH turning it into a 7-figure biz 🙂
congrats kevin. wishing you all the best as the PIC
Thanks John 🙂
Too real Kevin, Tho I think it has something to do with Comfort Zones, if we get out of them, to try or make something, we learn from those, maybe even add something to the Comfort Zone. either way to look at it, I think their’s meaning in Living life on the Edge.
Definitely… and especially with the recent post I wrote about we don’t always realize that today might be our last day. At the end of the day, it comes to this… would I rather live my life as adventure or do I want to live comfortably?
Nothing wrong with either… but for me? I like to live like 2 Chainz…
“Life should be on cinemax”
Taking up music again and treating my pursue of it seriously [!] again. Also ditching my drug of choice for real real. Thank you for asking. Made me realise a lil’ thing… Gonna think about it….
Agata thanks for posting. Really made my day knowing that helped someone like you. Whenever you have a spell of not feeling motivated, always feel free to reach out to me and read this post again.
And congratulations Kevin! I feel excited and braver just looking at this “Change of pharmacist in charge” paper. Damn, you go girl!
THATS RIGHT. IMMA BOSS
My fear? Having a YouTube channel and production company that will completely FLOP. Not having enough creativity to do artsy things. This always scares me.
Your fear is DEFINITELY something that can happen. But when doing YouTube or anything like that, I choose to look at it like this… I’m just learning and investing into myself. I spent 7 years as a pharmacist… NOT a youtuber. I suck at editing, content creation is rough, and sometimes I’m just drained.
But you know what’s worse?
Doing nothing at all. If you have a production company, you’re probably way better than I am. If I’m doing it, you definitely can too.
Bitch, you ain’t no cvs pic, that takes balls, great accomplishment, us cvs mofos will take any position besides cvs, shit I’ll wipe ass and verify scripts to get out this bitch.
Make sure you wash your hands on the way out then.
I’m proud of you bro for taking on the challenge and sharing your story. Your initial sentiments are shared by many pharmacists, young and old, and hopefully your actions (including this article) will help them think differently about the opportunity. We need more leaders to continue to improve our professional practice and be vigilant about the direction it is going as well as the environment we are in to prevent opposing interests from controlling and limiting our ability to provide access and drive quality care for our patients.
We are already here, living in a ‘brave new world’ where technology and innovation is commonplace…so who gets to decide where you fit in this world better than yourself!
You will enjoy learning and growing as you develop yourself as a leader and I will not deny that you will also at times experience more stress, make mistakes, and fail. I believe you understand that these things cannot stop you from succeeding and hope that you won’t let Doubt to enter and question the value you can bring. You won’t know everything and that should not give you anxiety because you are not alone. Leverage all your resources, surround yourself with the right people, have mentors and connect with others and you can overcome any challenge.
Congratulations on your leadership role! As many leaders in history have said (and made more pertinent in recent years by Stan Lee): with great power comes great responsibility. Looking forward to your growth and success brotha!
Thank you Ethan. I’m already enjoying it so far. It’s a lot of work sometimes, but one thing I really like about Ralph’s is that they always investing into me. For a long time I’ve been sort of weak or nervous at handling conflicts among co-workers, but since I HAVE to do it now I’m forced to get better.
That’s the beauty of it 🙂
This is so amazing! I’m sitting here thinking about how much I don’t like my current job and how much it sucks I’m not doing nothing something I enjoy doing, but I’m a single mom I’m signed into the contract for another year and it pays the bills and puts food on the table. I am turning 21 soon and while the rest of my high school class is graduating college I’m thinking of going back to get a BFA in fashion. It scares me shitless because I kept thinking how will I ever have time to do school on top of my job and raising a family of my own? What if I fail? What if I finish, get this degree, can’t get a job? Truth is I never wanted to work for someone ever since a young age. I want to be my own boss, my family always said “Art is too big of a risk” “art is the only thing you know how will you make a life off that.” This helped me open my eyes that I have nothing to lose. complaint and saying no will keep me at this job I don’t like with a boss I don’t like. When my contract is up I’m free to leave anytime I want so much could change in a year if I just applied myself and changed my mindset and stopped being so damn afraid of my family’s negativity being right.
I love this post Tay. I’m glad you’re taking control of your life and realizing you have nothing to lose by taking action and EVERYTHING to lose if you don’t.
Wow your post couldn’t have come out at a better time. First of all, congratulations on your new manager position! I’ve recently moved back home with my parents after graduating from college and been working full time. Although I am grateful that I have a good paying job, especially right out of college, and am able to save money by living with my parents I’ve been incredibly unhappy. I’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety these past couple months. My current job isn’t exactly my dream job, it’s more of a stepping stone for me and helping me pay off my student loans. My family has also been putting a lot of stress on me. Overall, moving back home has taken a toll on my mental health and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I’m thinking about quiting my job in a couple months and taking a gap “month” to travel, figure out what job I want next and move out. I’m really scared of this plan backfiring on me, how my family will react to it, and if I’ll be able to find another stable job.
Right now is the best time to figure things out. Imagine 10 years down the line… how much harder that would be. And plus with the digital age it’s so much easier to make money to make ends meet.
For example I knew someone who YOLO’ed, quit their job, and drove Uber for awhile.
But it sounds like you’re doing the right thing… thinking and preparing on how your family will react, how you will find another job, and making ends meet.
Launching my own YouTube channel – parodies, lifestyle videos etc.
Honestly it scares me because I feel like it might affect future employment opportunities but I realise that I don’t want to be working for anyone but myself.
So I ordered a mini ring light thing for my camera and as soon as it comes, I’ll film my first video.
You’re not crazy for having those fears. But let’s think of it another way.
If anything, you’re creating your future employment. Depending if you monetize YouTube, you’re creating income for yourself.
One thing about the internet, that I love is transparency… it’s easier than ever to see what someone is like. If an employer REALLY didn’t like your true personality, would you really want to work for them? And even if they asked you about your videos, we can always prepare an answer prior going into the interview.
But yes… I would love to see your first video!
You are amazing. I am proud to say you were, are, my mentor. I am terrified of being alone. That I will die a spinster, pretending to love that I’m the quirky, hip auntie but really I’m dying to pour my love into something real. It’s a possibility – no one can say it’s not. I won’t settle just to have a body sleeping next to me at night. But I need to be OK on my own. Me, myself, and I have had a long history of a hate – hate relationship, and I need to buck up and change that. Who wants to fight with themselves and not even be on their own side for their whole lives? I’m turning this shit around. Thanks, Kev.
Thank you for such kind words. I loved having you as a mentee in pharmacy school.
The beauty of your post is your awareness of what you want. Most people go through their lives not being real or true to themselves… then 10-20 years later they hate themselves for that. But you on the other hand? You’re willing to change and hustle for what you want. I love that.
I go through something similar everyday. I’m battling my inner Asian parent who says “Whatever you do, it’s not good enough”… One book that has helped me through this hurdle is this book.
You Da BOSS. Congrats on your new position.
College scares the fuck out of me. I withdrew from my three year college program after one semester. My parents are trying to be nice. I can see they aren’t exactly happy about it (acting like the stereotypical Asian parents but it looks like they gave up on trying to make me do anything) . But I am scared to apply again to colleges. I am now two years behind all my friends. School isn’t my things. I wonder if I am just a failure as college is expensive and I just wasted a semester.
Hai, Kevin. Instead of binge watching Blue Excorcist on Netflix, I’m gon read all of the posts you and others made in this blog. I’m 22 and Asian. Filipina to be exact. I had a short argument with my ma before close to afternoon. My birthday is this August and I wanted to meet up with two of my friends I met up first quarter of first college. That was a long ass sentence. Shiet. Anyways, three of us have same month of birthday. So, I wanted to hangout with them after a long time of not seing each other. But I had a hidden intention. To mostly see my first crush from first college. And he’s one of the people that has the same birthday month. I believe I confessed to him after we woke up from my old friend’s apartment, after a night of eating junk food and them laughing their ass off as I was playing GTA5. He told me he had a girlfriend at the time. Flash forward, after my 8th ex broke up with me, I took my me time selfishly. My ex and I finally agreed to exchange what him and I had left in each other’s place. I ignored his ass for almost two weeks since my ma told me not to call or text him ever again. That is not a good way to solve a problem, in my opinion, but I took her advice just ’cause I didn’t know what I would do if I had replied back to him. I talked aggressively through the phone when he was being sarcastic and asking questions, such as, “do you miss me?” and, “can we still be friends?” I said no to him, but not in a calm tone since I was annoyed af and heartbroken. After that, I didn’t text/call him back. The last time to text is to tell him when I’ll be free to exchange and say bye to him once he leaves the front of my place. After that talk- I’m not too well in getting straight to the point and I’m mostly off tangent-, my guy friend hit me up on Instagram. He replied as a homie in comments. I have a feeling he’d been flirting, but I wouldn’t helluh know. I then became to feel the crush over him as I’ve had felt for every dude I’ve had relationship with. Well, before the hook up phase. He asked me if I would like to hangout with him or together with my old friend that both of us had been with. I told him that I would like to, but I’m late on rent, medical, and student loan bills. I’ve asked about him and found put that he’s a year younger than me and also have the same birth month. So I checked my work schedules more than three times to see when we can all celebrate three of our birthdays. The 18th to 20th would be three days of celebrating. Flash forward, I am now waiting for his reply in message after I have warned him of what’s to come. What I didn’t tell him yet is that I’m going to confess to him. Except with a twist. My life is not how I want it to be, so I wanted to tell him straight up that I only intended to meet up with him on the days and that it feels wrong to try to get him with me in future after I’m more chill with how my life is. Sure, I like him and wanna get to know him, but coming from helluh dates and relationships, I don’t want to end up losing a friend. Also, I feel that if we end up together in future, we both would be arguing the fack out. Just ’cause we’ve been cool now, doesn’t mean we won’t fack each other’s life in future. If our friendship does end soon, then… holy shiet. I’ll most likely die helluh more inside than what I’ve dealt in my break ups and relationships. I would have said, “Oh God,” but I ain’t religious. But since my heartaches with my whole entire body, Holy Damn. I’d rather get this out of my chest rather than to prolong some shiet, like hoping he would wait until I’m legit chill with my life. I want both of us to sense happiness. I’m sensing regret from me. Fack it.