Ever watch this video?
I wanted to start this week off by sharing this video I did couple of years ago and break down these life lessons that you can apply.
This video has some truth in it. My parents are musicians. They wanted me to grow up to become a genius composure or some classical pianist. Sadly, I’m just a classical penis.
Anyways, I never grew up with the stereotypical idea that Asian’s are untalented and can’t pursue the arts. A lot of my friends kept saying how it’s impossible for Asians to rap, dance, sing, or do anything in entertainment cause everyone is forced to be a doctor/lawyer.
What I learned?
Perception – Reality is what you make of it.
My father is an opera singer, all his life people were telling him, Asian men don’t have big voices like italian/European men so it’s impossible.
His family would ridicule, deny and laugh at his dream. He was one of the first few Asian men to take lead roles in operas and performed for countless amounts of people nation wide.
I know the types of doubt that goes through your mind… I read the comments all the time.
Start this week by believing in yourself. Easier said than done, I know… but here are some clear steps on how to do that.
It first has to start from you saying “I can do this”. Whenever people start to criticize, hate or talk shit. Practice brushing it off and letting your own thoughts be stronger than their opinions.
Example: My brother looks over my shoulder to see my drawing.
Big brother: Dafauq is that garbage?!?!
Thought to self: I’m not done yet, just keep going, one day Imma be amazing.
Dad: You not going to make money doing that!
Thought to self: Oh silly dad, you worry too much. Keep going, you’re gonna do amazing.
Uncle: Why do you want to waste time drawing bullshit all day, go study!
Thought to self: I am studying and investing in my skills by practicing, and its going to be great.
People say stupid things without knowing how it affects you. They’re afraid because they can’t picture themselves ever making it happen. They doubt you because they are afraid for you.
Don’t let them plant their fears into your head and making that a reality.
Fear is just their negative perspective, NOT REALITY. NOT THE TRUTH.
Keep telling yourself that. Their opinions are just opinions, not FACT. You control your future and if failure comes, you learn from it and keep going.
Yea… it sounds lame, but if we rely upon other people to validate us, we’ll always be looking for approval. You know what that does? It makes us dependent upon other peoples opinions.
Lets not live life searching for people to praise us. Lets practice on letting our inner voice be stronger than their opinions.
Only then will we start to believe in ourselves.
Feel free to email me back if you run into a roadblock and have difficulty changing your perspective. Me and Kevin will help you out!
I’m 22 years old and i’m almost
graduating.Im playing football and want to socialize with
everyone who can take me on a other level.Sometimes i get the
advice from my parents to go college and get a degree followed with a” master
But i don’t really want that.I want to become a pro to achieve mt projects that i have in mind.But what i can do to achieve it,because sometimes i get stuck and i don’t see solutions and i get afraid that i won’t achieve my dream and just followed the ‘ stereotypical dream of the society ” studiying for a master and then work for 9 till 5 work.
Please I need help
Take this from someone that has their doctorate degree and currently does the 9-5 grind.
You’re still young. Lets assume the WORST case scenario and things don’t work out. You can always pursue your masters later. I had people who were 30… even 50 years old in my pharmacy program. It’s never too late.
Now let’s role play the opposite situation. It’s not impossible to still pursue your dreams, but it’ll be a lot harder. You’ll have even more debt to pay off. Most of your free time will be consumed by your job. You’ll have more risk and responsibilities.
Your parents want you to pursue your master because they want you to be stable. They don’t want you to be homeless. Having a plan written out might help out so both you and your parents can be clear on what you’re doing.
I totally understand your fears. You can do it. Keep reading and we’ll help you through this!
I’ve been down on myself for days. I haven’t been able to sleep right and I constantly think about how i can be on par with everyone else. After reading your article, it reminded me to stay positive and be true to yourself but how can I keep it that way? How can I discpline myself and develop to be a stronger individual? I hope you can help.
What up Tony!
Keep collecting articles and quotes. I usually print them, store them on google drive or use “gratitude journal” in the Android store. There will ALWAYS be times where you feel insecure and you start comparing yourself to other people. That’s natural. But having these available will help you get out of that slump.
Remember, this isn’t going to happen overnight… just like working out. You’re trying to change years of habits and ideas.
Keep reading and we’ll help you out.
This is a pretty late reply, but I just got on this site from watching numerous askthefeels/jkfilms/barbellbrigade videos and found this to be an interesting topic. Actually — a lot of articles are interesting. Anyways…
What if it isn’t others who put self-doubt in your mind, but yourself?
I went to school for 5 years (full- and part-time while working a full-time job) to be a court reporter. I struggled and tried to quit multiple times, but I didn’t. I graduated in December 2013, took the certification tests, and passed all but one portion. I stopped trying after failing the 225 WPM Testimony test about 4 times. A lot of people around me kept trying to push me forward, but now it’s 2015 and I stopped touching my steno machine altogether. I have always had thoughts of not feeling “good enough” and I should just stop because I’ll never make it; I’m not smart enough. I have moments that I think to myself that I want to finish up the certification, complete the state certification, then apply for a court reporting job…but then I stop. I procrastinate. I don’t do it. I start to think that now isn’t the time, I have other things I want to do. Being a court reporter will be a bunch of stress and the mudda boolshit. Deep down I know I want to do it, but I just keep thinking about how stressful it could be…about how my life isn’t so bad right now — except the debt that I’m in for going to school for that long is now catching up to me. I’m getting off track now…but my question is, how does a person start to believe in themselves…for real? How does a person learn to trust themselves and their talents and put them to use?
I was in a very similar situation at one point Jessica. No matter how much time I spent at the pharmacy as an intern, I was SUPER nervous running it as a pharmacist. My first day… oh god man. It SUCKED. Had no clue what to do or anything… but you know what? Things got easier.
Belief in oneself is just a bunch of small victories. You build this confidence with repetition and small wins. There is no overnight shortcut with this… but luckily you can speed this process up.
Part of mastery is spending time in your field or craft. It’s going to suck and have its moments… but you can shorten your time of suckiness by being active. Maybe it’s finding a mentor or doing an analysis of what went well or what you fucked up. Trust comes when you can do things well on a consistent basis.
Back to you, I think it’s going to be important to embrace the suck. It’s almost like going to war. You know you’re going to get cuts and bruises. But if you make it out and win the war, you’ll be in a much better place.