For the longest time, I was afraid.
Afraid of living unconventionally and pursuing a career that has absolutely no stability, a set structure or guarantee?
Although this desire seemed destined to fail as well as risky as hell. I still couldn’t burry my desires. I tried the whole going to school, working a 9-5 stable job with awesome benefits, but I felt an imbalance.
The 9 to 5 grind
I did everything I was supposed to do, made money, lived independently, grew awesome relationships with friends, but no matter what I did, I felt lost.
All because I was living a lie. I wasn’t living the life I wanted, there was no purpose in my work, I felt I had more to give to society and I felt like a coward for not challenging myself to accomplish my full potential.
Do you feel me?
The fear was so strong that I rather sacrifice my desires to choose something that seemed stable and guaranteed. I rather endure the pain of living a mediocre life than going balls out and acting upon what I really wanted out of life…
All because of FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of judgement, fear of ridicule, fear of poverty, fear of everything.
If this is you or your friends…
I’ll tell you right now, there is a way out.
I got out of this situation and now live the lifestyle I want; I get paid to travel, work with my close friends, and designed my life exactly the way I want.
I really want to show you how possible this is. It wasn’t luck. I’ve been working on this for 4 years. I broke out of the chains of mental slavery and I want to share this simple yet difficult solution with you guys.
When you see it, you’ll realize how simple it is and why you haven’t done this sooner.
Here’s the answer.
The only thing holding my back was my perspective. MY MINDSET.
Everything starts with your thoughts. Every move you make, every goal you attempt, everything.
Regardless of what shitty situation you might be in, at the end of the day, it’s how you think about it and HOW YOU SEE AND DEAL WITH IT that makes your reality.
For example…
We all hate traffic right?
Traffic is a hassle… But what if you were in traffic with your crush? It’s the first time hanging out, you’re driving them home and you two are really hitting it off.
You stimulate the fuck out of each other in conversation and wish that this ride would never end. It’s all perception.
It’s not the traffic that’s bad, Its how you see it. The stressor depends on how you interpret it. You control your perspective and once you see it, it’s simple.
If you fill your mind with negativity and road blocks, your reality will be nothing but failures. Many people will say “think positive” but to me that’s a whole lot of bullshit, just being optimistic doesn’t help.
You just live another lie while being happy about things that bother you. Here are some real ways to change your perspective.
Think of solutions
Start training your mind to think of solutions instead of replaying problems over and over in your head. Here’s how you train your mind.
When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, immediately write down what bothers you and begin writing all the different solutions to that problem.
For every negative roadblock, give yourself a positive solution. Debate your mind, don’t let the fear win. Fear traps our mind to stay comfortable and away from failure.
Failure hurts our ego and fear protects the ego. At the end of the day, we don’t want to pacify ourselves, we want to really solve these problems.
This is the first step for your new life. It starts with your mind and when you can honestly accept your goals as something that is obtainable, you will find all the answers in the world to achieve them.
This is what I call the REFUGEE HUSTLE.
Some of our parents came here with nothing in their pocket but they accepted in their mind that this is the land where sky is the limit.
They thought of solutions of how to live, how to love, how to exist and learned as they went. No instructions, just self taught.
If a foreigner can come here and become successful with no education, no english, no friends/support network. Then anyone can. Take the first step and believe that any problem you have can be solved. Trust your solutions and start building confidence in yourself today.
I hope this stuff helps you guys, I get a ton of personal messages from you guys about your fears. I am developing a few things to help you guys so stay tuned.
Share this post if you or you have a friend that is in this situation.
Joe
Hey Joe,
Im a junior at Cal State Fullerton studying Business Administration with an emphasis on Accounting, but I feel the urge to switch my major. I’m not motivated to stay in business but at the same time I don’t know what else to major in. All I want is a stable career and pursue a job that I love, but I feel that I am too late since I’m already 21. All of my friends seem to be on the right track and I want to feel the same. Do you have any advice or know anyone in the same field/situation as I am? Please give me some feed back bro.
Hi Joe,
Thank you for writing this blog! I really enjoyed reading it. Your topics sparked a lot of questions to circulate for me and it definitely answers a lot of unanswered questions that I’ve had previously.I’m glad you finally decided to write a blog about this sort of conflict. When I graduated from high school many years ago, I was influenced by my parents and fellow classmates to get into business. So I did. Boy, was I wrong! I completely my business degree and worked in a large cooperation for a while, but I hated every minute of it. From the minute I enrolled in classes, until I graduated, to the point of working, I hated everything about business. That industry does not suit my personality and it definitely subordinates the minorities.
After a while of debating with myself, I made a big decision to drop what I was doing and resume the university life in hope for a career change. That’s exactly what I did. I went back to school and majored in psychology. It was the best decision I’ve ever made!
Of course, through out the course of my decision, I had many conflicts. Coming from a domestic and traditional Asian family, everything had to be done in sequence. Since I disagreed with almost everything my parents believed in, I was always seen as the black seed. Going back to school felt like knives piercing through my parents’ chest, because they believed that once you have graduated, your next goal is to get a job and stick with it forever. I guess that’s why they’re miserable because they continuously follow these illogical traditions. Regardless of what they have to say or demand, I continued to do my thing. Fast forward a few years later and I am on my way to becoming a forensic psychologist. I couldn’t be happier!
Thanks for your post, Joe. Keep writing! You’re an inspiration.
Hello Joe, I have know you from JustKiddingFilms and also following you on both Twitter and Instagram. You and all your other friends (Bark, Geo, etc) are such an inspirations. I know this site through one of your tweet. Nice post! By the way, I know that you’re using Genesis Framework & WordPress. I’m an expert in this CMS and the framework too. I would love to work with you guys. Send me an email whenever you can. Thanks
How am I supposed to believe that i am capable of success and that “i can do it” when I DON’T believe in myself and my parents constantly compare me with scholarship kids? Did you ever feel lost during high school? Like you just want to give up everything and just that age, living with your parents and not grow up? I’m afraid. I’m afraid that ill be like my sister; rejections from all colleges, nobody taking me into the fields and subjects that I want to pursue in life. My parents are always bringing me down and my parents mean everything to me, so if they say I can’t do it, then I can’t do it. Well that’s my immediate mindset. My worries are that I won’t be able to pursue the process of the something that I want to become. For example if I wanted to be a doctor, I would be afraid of taking all the hard classes, afraid of getting rejected from med school. That’s exactly me right now. I’m afraid to take the classes that I should be taking because I horrifically know I won’t be successful in those classes. I’m lost. I ask my parents and they just get pissed. You know the Asian parents, don’t you? “Oh, do whatever you want. It’s your choice, your life, work with a minimum wage of $8 an hour supporting 3 kids.” They just DONT BELIEVE IN ME! And frankly, I don’t believe in myself. I’ve had too many run-ins with failure. Yes, I learn to get back up but i KEEP failing. It’s to the point where all I can think is, is this even right? Isn’t someone supposed to see even a glimmer of hope after all that failure? Idk guys. I’m just tired and afraid or trying and getting back up. I have motivation, but the fear demolishes it. And once I get somewhat rid of that fear, I subconsciously start comparing myself to the A+ students with scholarships sophomore year. Then I know I can’t be like them, and the cycle continues. What do I do?? I’m seriously stuck and I can’t get out. It’s been like this for the past 14 years of my life and I can’t bear it anymore.
-Heather