Why you should be single in your 20s ?

Kevin here.

I’m 28

…and my Facebook feed is filled with babies, weddings, and houses. God. Cuffin season.


It’s been over 5 years ago since my last girlfriend.¬†Everyone in my family just has one question for me…¬†When are you getting married?

It’s funny how a lot of Asian parents expect us to to pop out grandkids right¬†after you put your hands on that degree.

mom and me graduation

…Oh yeah. Keep in mind during the first 26 years of your life, dating was out of the question.

no dating married

When I¬†finally graduated…

I hustled in school for 20 years and realized that my childhood, teenage, and college years were gone. Fuck.

But for the first time I actually had freedom… what was the rush? I wanted to do shit I wanted, play around, and go on adventures.

Back during my yolo adventures

I’m not about having a family, house, a wife and a girlfriend so early. Maybe I’m thinking about relationships the wrong way, but it’s more responsibility that I want.

It wasn’t always this way…

In the past,¬†I tried to be a ride or die boyfriend… spending time planning surprises and mudda bullshit adventures. They were the focus of my life.

…and I was pretty whipped and a beta bitch.


But things happen. Life happens. One of them cheated on me. The others didn’t feel the same way anymore. Looking back, I couldn’t¬†blame them. So they broke up with me.

It was hard… waking up everyday not knowing if things would ever feel better.¬†I spent a lot of time thinking, talking to friends, and crying like a little bitch.

crying drake

If anyone else is going through heartbreak, I feel your pain. But through all the bullshit, I realized that times like these are true tests of your character.

What I realized from being single

The breakups was traumatizing, but it opened my eyes.

I felt like I wasted time. Instead of focusing on someone who could potentially in my future, I invested time into¬†myself… someone I¬†was¬†stuck with for life. So why not invest in myself and make myself better?

Then I started thinking about¬†things I wanted to do… other than have a girlfriend.

I wanted to be an entrepreneur, travel to all the rap meccas, and build opportunities for everyone around me… including supporting my family when it came time.¬†

My family
Gotta take care of the fam

The great opportunity

If you are single, don’t stress.

Most likely you don’t have kids. Your parents are healthy and don’t need help. You have¬†very little obligations…¬†other than my school loans.

No kids

Just work on yourself. Instead of looking at it as the end of the world, try to look at it as a positive thing. You’re in a unique position where you have a lot more flexible time and you can focus on your own needs and do shit you want to do.

It’s a time where you can work on¬†yourself, character, and passion. It’s the best time to do what you want.¬†That’s why I choose to be single.

So go on that adventure, start that business, and do “nothing” on PornHub.


If you’re in your 20s, what are things that you want to accomplish? Let me know in the comments.¬†




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8 thoughts on “Why you should be single in your 20s ?

  • August 2, 2016 at 12:17 am

    Hey Kevin

    I’m single and I’m 24 years old.

    I actually want to be like a film maker like Joe Jo in just kidding films and also Wong Fu Productions, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino and Jackie Chan in filming (stunts)

    I’m still studying even though I’m suppose to graduate at that age and find a job because of Stereotypes and comparing myself with other people like parent’s friends that graduate and got themselves a job.

    But because that time I didn’t even know where I want to go. High school was stopping me from doing things that I want to try out like studying the main subjects that I want to go to University when I was like 17 and trying to get into university at 19 years of age but I got kicked out of doing what I want to do even though did not sign anything about changing subjects and especially without parents signature and high school did an unauthorized permission for that, I felt so bad at myself and hating myself and my parents were so mad at me at that time.

    At 19 I didn’t know where I want to go and thought doing business courses would definitely get me a Job. But Like Joe said the economy went really bad and I didn’t know where I want to go.

    I thought I want to do filming but my parents were stopping me when I was 20 years old. My family wants me to get married early and have kids as well once I reach 24. Also a lot of my friends at work were telling me the story saying that e.g. If I don’t get married until above 25 years of age, they said you’re old to get married and stuff like that. (sorry Kevin I just didn’t know what to say at that time). Not only that my family (uncle and aunt mostly not parents) wants me to move out at the age of 20-21 yrs old but I couldn’t finance myself at that time

    Until I read your point there, I was inspired that important part is not only to get married and have kids at 20’s it’s best to finance things first before you get to the point.

    My parents wanted me to work for a finance business but I just feel like I don’t know where I want to go still, I wanted to be like just kidding films and also Wong Fu Productions, Rocket jump (Freddie Wong), Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino and Jackie Chan in filming (stunts).

    I’m not sure but maybe doing part time finance business and full time filming, would that be great I’m not so sure still where I want to go, since I need to finance my own money first for paying of university fees and supporting my parents as well, trying to pay them back since they raised me, my uncle wants me to pay them money now, graduate school now and have a family right now, but I’m only working as a casual like only 2 days a week to feed myself and doing full time study and economy has gone real bad though.

    I mean I wanted to be a film maker for Youtube preferably and part time finance business. Parents wants me to get a relationship girlfriend and have kids as well by 25 or 26 yrs of age.


    David (Dave) Hong

  • August 3, 2016 at 11:07 am

    I’m 25 i still go to school, what I want is finishing school and at the same time fulfill my oassion for ohotgraphy and videography and in the future start a business. Funny how your story was almost exactly like mine.

  • August 5, 2016 at 10:14 am

    Hey Kevin, it’s Bee.

    I recently chose to take a year off college and just work to save up for a car, money for books etc. Other than that, I’m personally trying to learn about loans so when I take them, I won’t be blind sided. Also, I’m trying to work on my Culinary skills, & character.

    Being single ain’t so bad but it sure stink when nearly all of your friends is in a pair, and you’re the 7th wheel or 9th wheel… it feels awkward but it’s whatever in the end.

    Thanks for sharing your story; it’s great to hear that kind of stuff. Your story is like a open door or light that many of us do not see that often.

    Overall, I enjoy reading the Refugee Hustle whenever I do. You’re always putting out great & inspirational messages in each email.


    P.s – Shout out to Joe Jo! His vlogs are great. Jess does an awesome job on editing them for him. Peace!

  • August 26, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    What up Kevin?
    I’m Jamling and im 17 and going into my junior year of highscbool and single. For myself personally I want to get the experience of being in a relationship just to see what it’s like. Nothing too serious. But during my sophomore year I discovered something that has changed my entire world and that is “perosnal development” and ever since them I have been cosistently doing things even if they are small things to gradually improve myself socially, spiritually, and with my own productivity and focus. I’m guessing you know what jumpcutacademy is since Joe and bart are also having things to do with simple pickup and jumpcut studios. So I’m also a member of this and its becuase youtube is something I want to do becuase it gives me a purpose to spread my own self out to the people who watch and all I really want to do in this life is “help people self improve and build meaningful connections through youtube and my creative abilities.

  • November 8, 2016 at 10:25 am

    hey kevin,
    im a 22 years old IT student, I will graduate next year-I transferred from engineering college to IT, so I’m 2 years late from my friends-. When I graduate I want to get a 9 to 5 job to have some start up money for my own business. I have some ideas in my mind, but I’m still not sure how will I pursue them. I read your blog to keep me motivated and ready for the real life.

    • November 11, 2016 at 3:58 am

      If you’re tight on money, a good book is $100 Startup. It’ll teach you that you don’t need tons and tons of money to start a business. Good luck man!

  • November 13, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    Hey man, i’ve gone through the breakup part completely devastated dead inside style and managed to pull myself out and improve on all the fields i wanted and got into a good uni (they also pay me to study here LOL) im in a good spot to triple-quadruple down on myself, but after the trauma that i’ve gone through i thought ” hmm maybe i’ll get a girlfriend and try to be a normal person” ( i’m kinda on 70/100 handsome person scala lol) i have no social or -talking to girls- -being a leader- anxiety whatsoever and your post really woke me up to be myself //waking up at 4 a.m. hustle all day not give a fuck guy.
    The thing i was worried about was would i lose sense of reality if i stopped going to these social events.And the thing is, people’s mindset of just living the normal life spreads around with their breath i can feel their brain waves getting inside my brain and me losing hustle.
    So, i will quit everything just like i wanted, work on all my free time ( i have like +110 hours each week) and really focus and become a master.
    Thank you, thank you; thank you.


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