Screw finding your passion and do this instead
Motivation is something that a lot of people struggle with. Sometimes it feels like the stock market. Some days it’s up, other days it’s shitting the bed.
Maybe you’re watching that newest Gary Vaynerchuk video to help inspire and motivate you. Or maybe you’re reading Start with Why trying to create a business you’re actually passionate about. Only to find that you’re still lost.
I’ve been there. Maybe your bookcase looks like mine.
In fact, I’ve spent over $40K on books, courses, and seminars to “better myself”. Only to find that I was still so damn unsure about my life.
I’m not saying that it was a waste of money. Shit. You have to invest in to your learning to be successful.
But if you’re anything like me, maybe you’re going through life trying to chase success. For me, I endlessly kept chasing goal after goal.
First it was graduating pharmacy school. Then it was chasing $150K paycheck. And now it’s starting my own business. It was never enough.
During this whole process, I just felt fucking empty. Like I was doing all this cool stuff, but I wasn’t sure if I was going the right way. I kept searching for passion trying to show me the way, but I never found passion. It’s a vicious cycle.
But if there’s one thing I learned from my mentor Dan Lok, success isn’t what you do. It’s the person you become. And often that person is already locked up within us.
Much like when Goku turns into a Super Saiyan after watching his friend Krillin gets murdered by Frieza, today I will teach you how to unlock your Super Saiyan.
If you want to stop wasting years finding your passion, do cool shit in life instead of thinking about it, and want to change your be that person that you were always meant to be, read on.
If you don’t want to change your life, stop here. Read somewhere else. This isn’t your “Buzzfeed’s 10 tips to finding passion” bullshit. This is only for committed ass people.
Because today I’m going to show you the exact thing that helped light the fire under my ass every morning to actually start taking action.
So if you’re tired of not knowing what to do with your life, read on.
The most difficult decision that changed my life
Two days after Christmas, my brother called me. It was time to fly back to Boston.
My dad was so damn stubborn. Dad hated doctors and avoided them for the last 40 years. Seriously the last time he went was when he served during the Vietnam War.
But you can’t run from your problems for ever. Dad had a heart attack. And like most stubborn Asian parents, dad still didn’t want to go to the hospital.
But this was serious. Dad’s heart was failing. There was a chance that he wouldn’t make it. So I took the first flight out of LAX to see dad before his surgery.
Have you ever gone through life so quick that it felt like a blur? Shit felt like hyper speed.
I lost my job the day before. And the next day, I was rushing to LAX. Next thing I knew Dad was lying in a hospital bed across from me.
He looked happy as hell considering everything that happened. We talked about the same stuff that we normally talked about.
How the hamburgers in the hospital. And how he was so done traveling. He even told me not to give up and not be so discouraged about the job situation.
Even though nothing felt that serious, something that day compelled me to ask…
“Dad. Let’s say you don’t make it though this. What’s one piece of advice that you want your grandchildren to remember you for?”
My dad took a moment to think. And responded…
“You know. I always wanted to be a millionaire, but sometimes life doesn’t go the way you want it to, but that’s okay”
This advice couldn’t be more true for me.
Two weeks later, mom rushed in my room at 4 AM. She didn’t say a word, turned on my light, and left. I thought… what the fuck is going on?
So I turned off the light and went back to sleep. Mom rushed back in my bedroom, tearing up, and said…
“We need to go the hospital right now!”
See dad wasn’t improving after the surgery. That morning, his vitals were crashing. This was it. January 8th, 2018. This was the day my family had to make the decision to take my dad off life support.
I wasn’t ready. But it didn’t matter how I felt. It was time to say my final goodbye to my dad, whether I was ready or not.
The two promises I made to dad
We rushed to Massachusetts General Hospital. My mom, brother, and I ran into cardiac intensive care unit. It was a weird feeling.
For the last two weeks, we came here everyday to visit Dad. It was surreal. This was our last time coming here.
As we approached Dad’s bed, he looked horrible. His skin was yellow because of liver failure. There was a breathing tube shoved down his throat. Everything I learned in pharmacy school was actually in front of me. This wasn’t a textbook. This was real life.
Mom started bursting into tears. Then my brother started tearing. I was just in disbelief.
There were a few moments for words. At first, I didn’t know what to say. But when shit hits the fan, the truth always comes out. Right before we pulled the plug on him, the words flowed out.
“Don’t worry about Mom. I’ll always take care of her so you don’t have to worry about her. And I promise to fulfill that millionaire dream for you.”
That was it. I promised him these two things:
- Take care of mom
- Be a millionaire
I cried after I made those promises to my dad. And I remember holding my dad’s hand. Dad’s left thumb had a raised ridge on this thumbnail.
When I was a kid, I used to rub my fingers back and forth on it. My childhood memories of all our talks came back. And I couldn’t believe that this would be our last time together.
Fifteen minutes later, he was gone. That was it. From that moment going forward, I had to step up whether I was ready or not.
Dad was right. Sometimes life doesn’t go the way you want it to.
The one thing that no one tells you about passion
The truth was I didn’t need passion. I needed was focus.
Once dad was gone, something just clicked in my head.
See I wasn’t a kid anymore. I’m 30. And I still haven’t done everything that I wanted to do. In fact I had too much that I wanted to do at once.
If you’ve known me, I’ve been interested in so many things.
Everything from MMA, powerlifting, pharmacy residency, investing, email marketing, affiliate marketing, REITs, stocks, cryptocurrency, TeeSpring businesses…
And the list goes on. Even with all these things, I still struggled to find passion, waiting for that “aha” moment. The thing that no one tells you about passion is that you can spend years chasing it and still not find it.
I was playing my life exactly like that typical Chinese takeout restaurant with the motto, “Pad thai? Sushi? Hamburgers? It doesn’t matter. We do it all!”
Do you see Panda Express trying to do that shit? Hell no.
If I was going to make those promises to my dad an actual reality, then I had to focus. But you can’t focus unless you do this one thing…
Why is focus so hard?
The number one thing stopping me from focusing is FOMO (fear of missing out). If I focus on one thing, I feel like I’m missing out on opportunities. But that’s because I am.
Because the truth is that you can’t have everything you want in life… at least not all at once.
Back in high school, I remember those times where I would talk on the phone from my friends, watch a TV episode of the Simpsons, and did my homework… all while trying to clean my room.
I’m guessing you can guess how that went. Nothing happened.
With FOMO, you satisfy the dream of not missing out on a few things. But the reality is that if you don’t focus, you’ll actually miss out on everything.
Staying busy is a form of procrastination. When you’re busy, you don’t have to make tough decisions. Thinking about doing something is very low commitment.
It’s like when your friend hits “maybe” for your Facebook event. They don’t really want to go, but if they don’t have anything to do they’ll show up because they have nothing better to do.
Focus on the other hand takes discipline. Sometimes you have to say no to certain opportunities. It forces you to actually take action and practice real discipline.
You’re no longer thinking about something; you’re actually doing it. It’s the end of mental masturbation. Focus transforms you into a practitioner.
Focus is how I made it through pharmacy school, taught myself to invest, and how I started my YouTube channel. You can’t “think” your way through any of these things.
So if I wanted to be successful in business, take care of my mom, and make more money so I could be a better person, I had to do the same thing and focus.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my promises to dad.
Do I want to be a person who “says” things to look good? Or do I actually want to deliver on my promises?
The most important promises in life are the ones that you keep to yourself. Why? How can anyone believe in you if you don’t even trust yourself?
So I told myself… “Fuck it. I need this to work out. Pharmacy will always be there for me. Imma go for broke.”
I had to choose myself.
Are you in an environment where you can actually win?
There’s nothing wrong with pharmacy. It’s great for a lot of people. And I still love continuing to inspire other healthcare professionals out there.
But when I told my YouTube stream that I wanted to take a break from pharmacy, people started asking me…
Why don’t you go back to pharmacy? Aren’t you scared about not finding a job? Why not do pharmacy and your business on the side?
Even though it makes logical sense to do both, the truth was that I was already doing exactly that for the last four years.
Maybe some people can do it. But I’ve failed time and time again. And it was because of my environment. Your environment is key to winning, focus, and getting what you actually fucking want.
The truth was I stayed in pharmacy because I didn’t believe in myself. It was easier to collect a high paying check rather than believing in myself.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love the people in pharmacy. But most of them went into the profession for safety and security for their families. For me, I wanted impact and legacy.
I wasn’t being challenged. And if you aren’t uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and scared, then you aren’t growing.
Think about it. Imagine two scenarios where you want to be a UFC fighter.
Scenario 1: You sit on your Lovesac watching old replays of UFC fights while Pizza Hut. Stuffed crust is my favorite by the way.
Scenario 2: You’re in UFC training camp. You eat, sleep, and train around winners and champions. Khabib is to your left wresting bears. To your right is Connor McGregor talking shit to you about how much you suck.
How do you think that would impact your success?
And that’s what I needed to do. If I wanted to create a six, seven, or eight figure business, I had to surround myself around the greatest.
How was I going to grow if I didn’t surround myself around the people I wanted to be like?
I wanted to make a change and commit to my business. To actually fucking believe that I would make this work out. But what was I really working toward?
In order to be successful, you have to be confident, clear, and believe in what the hell you’re doing. You have to be absolutely fucking clear about your goals.
Imagine trying to meet your friend at In N Out. There’s over 329 In N Out locations. You need to know the exact one before you get to your location.
One practical exercise to actually start giving a fuck about life
Close your eyes. Imagine your dying parent was on their death bed. You have only 15 minutes.
What would you say to them or what would you promise them? How do you want to live your life going forward?
See my promises to my dad was my life changing event. It was the kick in the ass I needed to finally develop the balls, confidence, and conviction to say…
“No. There’s no going back. I’m going to make this work no matter what. Fuck it. I’m going for broke.”
This is the key to focus and passion. Passion is just figuring out what you really give a fuck about and doing it within a fixed time frame.
But lets be honest. Passion and focus fades. So how do you actually remember what you want to do?
Instead of jumping into a million things, I chose four things. And created a vision board that’s in front of my face 24/7.
Recently I’ve been looking a lot of vision boards. Some people cut out quotes, inspirational pictures, cars, or places they dream about traveling to.
But that’s the problem. For most people, they only stay as dreams. They never become a reality. In fact your vision board, should be your to do list as my mentor Dan Lok says.
Since then I’ve replaced my 100+ “want to do’s” with four focused my goals aimed toward the next year. I chose four things that I actually give a fuck about.
- Train martial arts and finally get promoted with my blue belt in jiujitsu
- Visit Thailand to visit Lumpini muay thai stadium and relax that way my dad wanted me to before he died
- Make $30,000 so I can take my grandma, aunt, and myself to Hawaii and our village in China
- Make $100,000 from Refugee Hustle via YouTube, sell my course, and leave pharmacy
See it’s cool to just write down your goals. But humans are visual creatures. It’s the difference between an erotic novel and watching PornHub. Which one do you think will be more compelling?
See that’s the thing about passion. You can spend years trying to chase it, trying to find that one thing. Or you can just be like fuck it and choose four things that you actually want to get done within the next six months.
Do you think you’ll be more passionate sitting on the sidelines? Or by actually doing stuff you love? Don’t look for passion. Become fucking passionate.
If you guys are interested in how I’m tackling these goals, subscribe to my email list and message me. Do that here. Once I get 20 messages, I’ll write an article on how I plan on attacking each of these goals.
Until next time, rethink obstacles, hustle creatively, and let’s live free together.
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